Meat for the Ladies
Actually, it is the meat from the carcass of the red colobus monkey, as far as lady chimpanzees are concerned. Still, we could not pass up the opportunity to draw an analogy that we can all relate to.
Among chimpanzees, it is observed:
Females who are bolder or are more relaxed around males will approach the male who is in possession of meat and try to take a piece of meat or immediately start eating from the carcass
The male’s reaction varies, although the female’s reaction is probably typical, irregardless of species:
The male will either not react to this and allow the female to eat, or will pull the meat away from the female, to which females usually react by screaming, crying or throwing a temper tantrum
Now let’s see how the chimpanzees’ distant cousins play this same scenario in a typical DC area bar:
- 200 Grande: Hi.
- girl: Hi,….would you like to… like buy me a drink????
- 200 Grande: How ’bout you just have some of mine.
- girl: Okay….So what do you like do?
- 200 Grande: I’m a sustenance farmer. You?
- girl: No, come ‘on… really?
- 200 Grande: I’m actually a trial attorney specializing in gender discrimination suits.
- girl: Oh…my…God!!!! That is like so what I do! I like majored in women’s studies, and I like work for a nonprofit that like makes companies like hire more women!
- 200 Grande: Hey,…is that Megan Fox? I gotta go over there and talk to her. Bye.
- girl: Hey! You’re taking my drink!
- 200 Grande: It’s my drink. I didn’t buy you one, remember.
- girl: You can’t do this to me! I like went to the Ivy League!…and I like have a law degree,… you stupid POS!!!!
Besides an age-old truth, what is also revealed is how evolved human males screen out females that will not put out. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Posted on April 9, 2009, in Current Events and tagged Feminism, Monkeys. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.
I ask why is it that guys can’t see past the outward appearance and look at the woman for her heart, her passions, and the personality. It frustrates me when I hear a guy say, “You are sweet, but not attractive enough for my taste.”
Geez, you are classifying all women into this category, 200 Grande, when not all women are like this pseudo girl you mentioned in your article.
Not all women are like pseudo girl whom waste money pursuing a curriculum in ball-cutting,…uh,…pretty lies,…uh,…I mean women’s studies.
Brilliant Sir, I doth my cap to you
I just wanted to clarify that my friend was one of those women’s studies majors, who pretty much played into this scenario. One night, my friend, my guy friend, and myself were out at a bar. Basically, my friend “Mary,” went to my guy friend, “Todd,” and asked him to buy her a drink. Todd: “I thought you were Ms. Independent, so you should really buy your drink since you advocate for equality on behalf of women.”
Mary: “No, it is the duty of the man to buy a woman a drink.”
Todd: No, when you keep saying chivalry is dead, why should I buy you a drink? What makes you think that I want to buy you a drink, Ms. Independent?
Mary: You are an offensive piece of slime, moron.
Needless to say, Mary refused to even meet with Todd after this event.
As you know 200 Grande, I was just acting like one of those pathetic women’s studies majors. Even a social work major could agree with your points (unless they minored in women’s studies).