Contest: Fill in the Constituent Letter

In honor of Congressman Gerry Connolly’s office sending out letters with blanks, Crystal Clear Conservative wanted to hold a contest to see who could create the best Constituent letter using the following mad lib. The prize is a empty bottle of wine or something else that’s empty.

Dear (circle one) man, woman, Space Alien,

Thank you for writing my (circle one) office, closet, palacial palace, beat up Prius on _______ issue. I am glad that you wrote my office/closet/palacial palace/beat up Prius because you have _______ life.

Although I do not really care what you think about _______ issue, I hope this condescending letter will cause you to vote for me in 2010/2012/2014.

So, yeah, my constituent services really suck, as you can see on this ______letter, you can donate ______ to my campaign.

Sincerely,

Congressman _________