Image versus Reality & The SoCon Struggle, Part II

Feminists like Jessica Valenti, captainess of the Feministing ship of harpies, regularly complains about a sexual promiscuity double standard between men and women.  Jessica even wrote a book about it.  She loves to gripe about the inequality: men who sleep around are STUDS, while women who sleep around are SLUTS.

At the same time, SoCons hold to the image, the comforting lie, that women yearn for “good” men as husbands, and that they are awash in a sea of beastly cads, using and losing these pristine princesses.  This image appears so real to SoCons when they hear women truthfully professing that they want one “good” partner.  And what about hearing that princess still wants one “good” partner for a long term relationship?  Is this not the sweetest sounding affirmation that women crave monogamy?  After all, that one “good” partner is always the same guy.  Right?  To a SoCon man, yes it is.  But in thinking this, he is lying to himself.

The problem lies in how men and women have a differing definition of “good.”  The man’s definition usually centers around a notion of “fidelity.”  While a woman might agree with this man’s version of “good,” her definition is so much more complicated.  Her definition is based on the best approximation of the image of her fantasy ideal.

In a woman’s fantasy world, she mates with the perfect man and then he commits to her, putting off all other women.  This is why pulp romance fiction, e.g., Twilight, has such broad-based appeal among women.  Note the problem of where the fantasy meets reality.  There is no such thing as the perfect man.  Besides, even if the perfect man existed, he could not exclusively mate with all women.

This is where female hypergamy set in.  It is the trick women play on themselves so they can hold to their fantasy while navigating reality.  A woman will select the most available, closest approximation of her ideal man.  But the ideal man is incredibly dynamic.  He is so dynamic, that he has the magical ability to change in perfect synchronicity with her mood, age , career and a plethora of other factors.

By the princess fantasy, women think they are entitled to the best.  The pulp romance formula always has a woman amidst a swarm of unsuitable suitors, while longing for the ideal man of her dreams.  In reality, a woman is always waiting for the bigger and better deal.  This is why a real a man MUST ALWAYS make her FEEL that she is not good enough for him.  Because when a better approximation of the ideal man comes around, she will pounce on him, regardless of the circumstances.

Women, especially Feministers like Jessica, love to complain about double standards.  Just like their search for the ideal man, women are very selective in what they complain about.  Women choose to complain about the double standards favoring men, while unflinchingly dis-acknowledging and taking advantage of double standards favoring themselves.

For example, consider the typical woman in a Northern Virginia “power couple” saying:

I’m independent.  I make MY OWN money.

and consider the translations perceived by both a unsavvy and savvy man:

• UNSAVVY: blah blah blah blah blah (hmm, look at her sagging….)
• SAVVY: My husband pays for housing, food, the kids so all my income is disposed on shoes.

Beware of selective outrage regarding double standards between men and women.  Yes, they exist, and government cannot take them all away, nor should it.  Men have double standards that favor them and disfavor women, and vice versa.  This is why women and men complement each other as a yin and yang, and this is why oriental despotism threatens the West.

SoCon men cannot relate to how the status of mega-celebrities work on women.  They especially cannot handle a woman’s irresistible attraction to men of supreme status.  Some SoCon women even cling to this, but with differing motivations (of course).  To understand why, consider the thought experiment:

• SCENARIO ONE: Attractive Wife

1. Take “blue collar SoCon man,” (e.g., military, coal miner, etc)
2. PLUS “attractive wife”
3. PLUS affair, on the part of the man
4. EQUALS DIVORCE

Remember by law, “attractive wife” owns “blue collar SoCon man,” and can take him for as much as government will enforce (nearly eveything).  Also, being attractive, she can easily take her business elsewhere in search of that dynamic ideal man.  Now, alternatively, consider:

• SCENARIO TWO – Fat Frumpy Wife

1. Take a “blue collar SoCon man”
2. PLUS “fat frumpy wife”
3. PLUS affair, on the part of the man
4. EQUALS NO divorce

BECAUSE fat frumpy wife has no dating market options!  Attractive, but old, infertile women may have a little more, but dating market value tilts heavily in favor of younger, attractive women (a quality men are very good at screening for).

Now that we understand female hypergamy, we can answer the questions:

• Why are women offended by Tiger Woods’ cheating?
• Why are women not really offended by the women he is cheating with?

Women are attracted to the notion of Tiger’s supreme status.  Do not be fooled by women disparaging Tiger’s looks (given the opportunity, star status overwhelms and his looks are not a “deal-breaker”).  As discussed prviously, women act out on their feelings based on their image of their ideal man.  In doing so, they empathize with Tiger’s wife, as they react to the shattering of their image of the ideal man leaving them, for another woman.  What about the women coming out to reveal that they had affairs with Tiger?  No outrage, but rather grudging respect because women fantasize about being the fancy of all men, including the one ideal man.  Just like a man has  a grudging respect for a man that attracts hordes of women, a woman has a grudging respect for a woman that can attract a superstar.  However, a gradient of respect exists from young attractive women to older, fatter frumpier women.  Younger, more attractive women having more grudging respect  for each other, while fatter, older, frumpier woman have more grudge than respect for all women.  Of course the grudge is really self-loathing of their waning ability to attract an approximated ideal man.  Jealousy is indeed a complicated bitch.

For men, it’s a lot simpler.  Tiger’s cheating commands a grudging respect, but in the context marriage, it is wrong, JUST as the parade of women aiding Tiger’s cheating is wrong.

So, in this regard, we see that men are indeed simple, and women are very, very complicated.  How often is this thrown at men?  Why would a man ever take this as an insult?

Given all this, why would a man ever get married?  We will talk about that next time.