Are you Offended?
Feminists are reportedly offended by US ski babe, Lindsey Vonn, on the cover of Sports Illustrated:
I am offended that Lindsey is not wearing a bikini.
I am also offended that most “professional” women in the DC metro area are unable to assume this position. To all of you: please apply more consistency to regular yoga classes, and less consistency to the Haagen Dazs. Yes, I know there was a lot of snow, but that’s just no excuse; please show a little discipline and just maybe I might be able to find it in myself to love you.
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Posted on February 11, 2010, in Current Events. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
I am offended by you, you sexist pig!!
No, I’m not offended but I can understand how many women are offended by unrealistic expectations.
If the GOP wants to win elections, then they must triangulate between promoting women that can assume the position depicted (one hundred-seventy degrees), and the majority of Haagen Dasz-indulging professional women whom can assume about thirty degrees. How about a compromise at 70 degrees?
Catering to women’s unrealistic expectations makes them materialistic and detrimental to the family. To illustrate:
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Ugh! How many more hours must I stand in the tree pose before I can have my spoonful of Banana Split Haagen Daas and you take notice?
Are you for real, DC 200 Grande Fan? No, you’ll have to twist into a pretzel before he takes notice.
Lindsey is just in a ski pose…why in the hell are the feminists so offended? They are just too fat to ski down a hill. As for 200 Grande wanting her in a bikini, that’s just sexist…plain and simple.
Slowell, while you are it…we should chat sometime. I dig men who call 200 sexist pigs.
Offended? No. Aroused? No comment.