Pittsburgh is out and "Cindy" Crosby is crying tears of blue

The evil empire known as the Pittsburgh Penguins met their demise last night losing to the Montreal Canadiens 5-2. In a game that was supposed to lead the Penguins to their second taste of Lord Stanley’s Cup in two years, the Canadiens decided to take advantage of star player, Sidney “Cindy…Sid the Punk” Crosby to make him cry tears of blue. With goals scored by M. Cammalleri, B. Gionta, T. Moen, and D. Moore, the Canadiens simply outshot the Penguins.

Canadiens fans, along with the rival teams’ fans, were all rejoicing over this triumphant victory knowing that the Penguins are not going to have another chance at a Stanley Cup. The man on G Street N.W. (who refused to give his name, as he is a disappointed Penguins fan) said, “Sid the Kid left us down. We believed we had a chance to blast the mediocre Canadiens and send them back to Montreal regretting the day they faced us in Game 7.”

Spotted off the Metro Center stop was a jovial Capitals fan, who chanted, “Na, Na, Na…Hey, Hey, Hey…Goodbye Now,” in response to hearing of the Canadiens victory. She said, “It’s about time “Cindy” Crosby goes back to Pittsburgh and cry crocodile tears over this loss. At least, the evil empire will not have the chance to emerge victorious.”

Exactly our thoughts. Good day, Hockey Lovers.